Love Tips from the Angels.
“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~ Ajahn Chah
When breaking up is hard to do.
Our brain is programmed to go back over things, especially when we are hurting from love, so if you can’t get your ex out of your head, don’t worry it’s quite normal. The problem is, we often really can’t stop the negative thinking, so I’m going to suggest a beautiful angel pendant you can wear plus some tips from the angels that you can use NOW to move on to better, more fulfilling relationships in your life. Ok, I know it’s difficult, but if you’re reading this, chances are you probably need a bit of angelic help, so here’s what the angels want you to know.
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For a start, don’t make the mistake of keeping your ex as ‘a friend’, make a clean break. DELETE HIS NUMBER. This will save you phoning or texting him drunkenly at 4am to ask him why, or calling him in desperation and despair to talk about what went wrong. Conversations about business or children are different, you will have to set some ground rules though, and keep the conversation strictly business, or better still go through a mediator.
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This is a great one that really helped me. Start by allowing yourself 1 hour per day thinking about her/him. You can break it up into two 30 minute sessions. Time yourself if you like, keep your thoughts on him/her but absolutely stop when your time is up. If you catch your thoughts going back to h/him during the day, tell your brain “No, you’ve had your time and that’s it,” and do your best to continue your day in constructive and positive ways.
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Here’s the thing. What does having this person constantly in your head do for you? Yes thats right, what purpose is it serving. Neuroscience tells us that thoughts of our ex are like a little boost of endorphin (happy chemical) for us. Each time your phone rings and it might be him, each time you remember a conversation, each time you think of him/her, even the sad thoughts, you are getting a little boost out of it and IT BECOMES A HABIT. You might be feeling hurt but thinking about him keeps you attached to him. Its as if he’s still around, still with you, and there might still be a chance. Stopping the HABITUAL thinking is the last and most painful part of letting him go, because when you stop, you’re going to feel REALLY SAD
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THE GOOD NEWS IS the sooner you feel it the sooner you get better. Now it’s time to start looking after yourself and getting some of those feel good, happy chemicals to work for you in different ways. Again, neuroscience tells us YOU CAN BUILD A NEW HAPPY HABIT IN just 35 days, and it’s very important that you start right away.
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THE HARD BIT IS there’s no instant cure and it’s going to feel strange for the next while but DON’T GIVE UP because your brain ONLY NEEDS 35 DAYS of repetition to build a new happy habit, so begin now with the NO THINKING ABOUT HIM rule and plan in detail some fun things to do with the next 34.. It might be going to the gym or taking up yoga or both. It may be a dance class and a painting class, but get pro-active, invite friends for coffee and plan some fun activities to do with them too,
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The last thing the angels ask us to do is meditate every day for just 10 minutes. When we meditate we observe our thoughts. Anyone who has tried it knows we have a stream of them going through our heads all the time. Meditation is great because the more we meditate the more we discover about ourselves. For instance, it helps us to notice that sometimes we say pretty nasty things to ourselves, like “you’re not good enough” or you’re so stupid or “you’re too old” or any number of hurtful and unhelpful little jibes. Eventually we come to believe these things, BUT these negative thoughts ARE NOT TRUE and really interfere with our happiness AND our ability to move forward, so we need to notice them and replace them by speaking kindly to ourselves. We are not silly or useless, we are brave and talented and we are here to be happy and love ourselves and one another, so be your own cheerleader and don’t bring yourself down by harbouring negativity, it’s just another bad habit to replace with a good one.
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And lastly, no-one is perfect and we can’t rewire ourselves overnight, we are human and sometimes we learn slowly and sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes we are victorious and successful and learn wonderful things.
SO THE MESSAGE FROM THE ANGELS ALWAYS IS;
“Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself as the angels love you – just as you are.”